if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize