so explain again why im purple
no
so that wasnt chicken after all
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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