He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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