Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
