At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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