his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
