I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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