bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
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