I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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