did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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