So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
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how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
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I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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