Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
