As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
