OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize