I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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