Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
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Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
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And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
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