Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
