That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
