i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
