You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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