shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
