All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
