So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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