I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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