i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
