Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
