So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
