In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
