I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize