So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
