I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
