i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
