If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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