don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
