I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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