Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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