I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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