so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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