i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
