He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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