I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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