nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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