they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
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you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
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the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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