I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
