I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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