TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
home. puking in laundry basket.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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