There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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