Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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