Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I want to be your penis for a week.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
