I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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