Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
