Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
