I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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