her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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