Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
