uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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