so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
