I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
