just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Yo dont text me then not text me
hell yes lets make some ravioli
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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