dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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