I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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